Cashflow...or something

I would rather be flogged than go to sociology tonight in the rain. I hate that class, I don't like rain when I have to be out in it, and there's about five million things I could/should be doing instead. I loved sociology in high school, but I can't believe how dumb and pointless and offensive it is to me in this class. Blah. Can you believe I wanted to major in it?! It took about five minutes of the first class before I was like, "Oh, no!" I like my math class better. And I'm a total idiot when it comes to math, and I hate it, and I think it is of the devil.

Speaking of offensive, there's nothing on TV- I'm not normally awake this early but I had to go to JC with Nan- so I have it on E!- normally I'd have it on HGTV but stupid Designer's Challenge is on- and it's "30 Best & Worst Beach Bodies". I don't really think I need to expound on that, but I just heard some woman say Cameron Diaz has "a nice perky bottom." Really? And some guy, talking about how Vince Vaughn is supposedly fat, said funny people don't have to be good-looking. I beg to differ! If I'm going to have to watch movies with them in it they should be! "He's got a great personality, so no one notices he's carrying a few extra pounds." "If you're a guy and you're a little pudgy, don't worry about it, girls are into that!" THEY DO NOTICE and NO THEY'RE NOT. God.

Last night I was doing math and I had TV Guide Channel on for some reason, and they had "25 Sexiest TV Stars" on, and I was so irritated that Patrick Dempsey was #4, but then Jon Hamm was #1. HA!! In your face, McDreamy! And so true. I was annoyed with most of their choices, naturally- some woman from House was #2 and the whole cast of True Blood was #3. First of all, shouldn't the women and men have separate lists, and second of all, it isn't really fair to pick a whole cast instead of singling out people in some cases and not in others. (Like, they had Jon Hamm and Christina Hendricks separate, but they had the True Blood and Gossip Girl people together, and those two guys from NCIS: L.A. were together.) I know, I'm asking for fairness and objectivity from TV Guide Channel's "25 Sexiest TV Stars" list. I don't get why anyone thinks the True Blood people are attractive. I guess that's mean but I don't see it. I do hate the whole vampire thing, though, so I guess I'm biased. I was mad John Slattery and January Jones weren't on it (that I saw, I didn't see the whole thing).

I think that's plenty of talk about nonsense TV for now! I refuse to accept it'll be a whole frakking year before Mad Men comes back! What! I've been very depressed about it being the season finale, but thrilled at the awesomeness. I still think "The Hobo and the Gypsy" was the best episode of the season, but this was a close close second. Megan and I spent way too much time coming up with the full title for the new agency. Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce Olson Holloway Campbell was one. Sterling Cooper Draper Draper (the second one is Betty, which, what?) Pryce Sterling (Joan, after she marries Roger- not that I think women should automatically take their husband's name but you know Joan would and Roger's awesome so there) Olson Campbell Romano (!!! THEY NEED AN ART DIRECTOR).

(That reminds me: I hate when men refer to their wives as "the wife." It's so annoying! Does she not have a name? Is it such a stretch to say "my wife"?)

I know I was just bitching at Aaron on FlashForward for refusing to let go, but I refuse to let go of Mad Men in that I'm writing my classification essay about it, and amazingly, (one of) my research paper has to be about an advertising campaign! I was conflicted about what to do; I wanted to do one that was on Mad Men, but I also wanted to do something that's still very active and that I use. I was going to do Netflix, but their campaign isn't terribly interesting to me. It's obviously effective, but the red is the only thing stand-out about it to me. I really like Absolut Vodka commercials, but A) I've never actually had any except what they put in cocktails that I've had- I have the cheap vodka in my freezer! and B) I don't want my professor and the whole damn class to think I'm a boozer. I drink like, one drink a month. But I found this website with most of the print ads Absolut has done, and I've seen them a ton in Rolling Stone and just hadn't thought about it, but they really have an iconic image with the bottle and the "Absolut (whatever)" It reminded me of Don's Hilton campaign; I honestly think it's the kind of campaign Don Draper would come up with. So I'm going to do it and if they think I'm an alcoholic well so be it! I've looked at enough ads that I really think it should be Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce Hall.

MTV finally put the videos from U2's performance at the Bradenburg Gate up, and still it's not all six songs! But I was really anxious to see Jay-Z performing "Sunday Bloody Sunday" with them, and it was so. cool. The five of them should get together in the studio some time. That would be the best thing ever. If Songs of Ascent ever happens... well, I try not to think much about it because then I just get my hopes up and when The Edge says it's more of an idea than an actual thing at this point, I get sad and want to cry. I don't know why, they do this to me every single time. I should know better, but I guess it's official: I am an optimist.

The other night:
Me: I'm so broke.
Megan: You too? [which I misunderstood as "U2!"]
Me: That was a month ago, I'm so sick of everyone throwing that up in my face!
Megan: ....What?
Me: Oh. You meant you're broke also.

P.S. EW asks, Have you ever felt betrayed by an actor? I say, And how! I was amused by the person who commented that Ralph doing Maid in Manhattan was the first thing that came to mind. Not amused by the person who called Ralph unlikeable (though they did say he's a great actor). I think Ralph is likeable. Anyway! The first thing that came to my mind was...of course...Michael Sheen in Frakking New Moon. Betrayal! Duplicity! Abandonment!

The day that Disney died

Disclaimer: I've already watched this once. I made Megan watch it, for no particular reason other than I guess I wanted her to suffer, and I wasn't planning on blogging it but A) it was so hopelessly dumb I can't resist and B) we pretty much talked through it before so I understood even less than usual. And I do want to add that Megan read in TV Guide that John Cho is a Mad Men fan, so I want to be less harsh on Demetri. But I probably won't be.

Previously on FlashForward: Oh, some stuff. Blue hands, future infidelity, and Frakking Jane's going to drown, hopefully.

This opening sequence is weirdly dreamlike and goofy, but then again, it is FlashForward so I don't know what I expect. I don't think it knows either. Anyway. Demetri and Zoe are all lovey dovey and what-have-you. Megan thought their apartment was ridiculously large, but Zoe is a hotshot lawyer, so I don't think it's weird necessarily. From the lovey dovey couple to the couple that LLOYD SIMCOE is doing his damnedest to tear apart. And nearly succeeding. Poor Joseph. Joseph is incredibly morose through this whole episode, but he certainly has his reasons.

Like having to share an elevator with Demetri and Disney (formerly known as "random guy") and listen to them yammer about video games. Joseph ignores them, which is awesome. At the morgue the guys prod the corpses of those blue hand guys that Demetri and Disney found or whatever last week when I wasn't paying attention. All I get from this scene is that Janis is not appearing in this episode, so HA, thanks FlashForward!

I had somehow managed to repress the memory of this horribly boring Aaron subplot, but it's rearing its ugly head yet again. It's probably going to be this week's blue hand plot in that I just won't talk about it. How about those aliens on V? Seriously, though, this whole thing where Aaron's like "I knew the people telling me to move on were evil!"--that's...not healthy. You do have to move on, it's part of grieving and part of life. And yet Aaron's going to turn out to be totally right to have never let go and moved forward, so why do I bother?

Joseph, Demetri, and Disney are humoring Stan by letting him think he's in charge, when Ralph's ex-wife Alex Kingston walks in. DUN DUN DUN! Really, Joseph? You couldn't be bothered to refuse to work with your brother's ex? He probably wasn't even supposed to be in this scene but insisted on it just to stick it to Ralph. Lord knows he does nothing useful in it. Then again, no one does. Stan is righteously angry when it's discovered that the blue hand group is just hanging out and killing each other or whatever. Why does he care? Why does anyone?

Alex and Disney are looking at pictures of suspects or whatever, I don't know. Alex recaps her vision (the one shared with Disney), because it was so enthralling the first fifty times, and very rudely asks Disney who called him on his cell in the vision. Seriously, Alex, how is it your business? Then, when Disney tells her it was his attorney, she asks why he was calling? WTF, Alex! I know why Ralph dumped you now.

Demetri and Zoe aren't so lovey dovey now, are they? He didn't show up to help pick out wedding invitations or whatever. Zoe: "It's like I don't even exist!" Well, whose fault is that? This is like the second episode you've been on, lady! Disney's been on more than you. Although you're miles ahead of Dominic in the screen time race.

Frakking Jane! Nooo! Apparently she's volunteering at Olivia's hospital in a futile attempt to save her immortal soul. I don't work in a hospital, but at EHCC they won't let anyone who isn't a nurse near the medical charts, much less a lame volunteer like Frakking Jane. Great, here's Bryce to up the terribleness factor. Olivia manages to awesomely get away from both of them by making Bryce show Frakking Jane what to do. And Frakking Jane speaks Japanese, of course.

Joseph, Demetri, and Disney are dressed for a night on the town. Or, Joseph and Demetri are. Disney looks like he's going to a Young Republicans meeting. But since they're actually heading to check out the blue hand group, because no one on this show can have any fun ever, I guess it doesn't matter. A, Joseph's wearing a Police t-shirt. (Megan: "What should he wear? That's what he does right?" Me: "THE BAND.") Joseph's done Creepy Eyebrows the whole ep, btw, that's why I haven't announced it every time. When he stops doing them, I guess I'll say "UnCreepy Eyebrows!"

Some creepy old guy comes out of the warehouse where the blue hand group is hanging, and tries to engage the boys in a game of Fake Russian Roulette. When Disney's calling your bluff, old man, you should've just stayed at home. Isn't the old guy just that Nazi from before? 'Cause they look just alike. Inside the "Blue Hand" Joseph asks about the guy they're looking for, and how sadistic could this club be if it has a bar and everything? Are they sure it's not just a speakeasy?

Aw, hell, it's LLOYD SIMCOE. I thought we were going to be free of him for one ep. He pops in Olivia's office to harass her some. Does he never, never learn? Oh wait, how could I forget? He's the stupidest nuclear physicist that ever lived. Why the hell is Dylan still in the hospital? He was trick-or-treating and taking bus rides last week, he's fine!

Frakking Jane and Bryce, Good Lord. I take it all back, let's go back to LLOYD SIMCOE. Or, Aaron and his nonsense. Why not just put them all in a scene together and get the torture out of the way?

Speaking of torture.... I guess the blue hand group is all weird and sadistic after all. Joseph calls it "pathetic." Not the word I'd use, but at least he's not all "Hey, don't judge!" like Demetri. All of sudden things get dramatic real quick, and everyone stares a door. And who should come through it but...wait for it...Leoben! Whoo! He puts a gun to his chin but Joseph's like "Hell no, you were my third favorite Cylon!" Well, I may have projected that last bit.

The dream team has dragged Leoben back to their all-purpose conference room to read him his own life story. I bet he really hates Joseph for not just letting him off himself now. Leoben informs Joseph his stupid website is the resource used by the blue hand group to recruit, and laughs in his face. Awesome! Normally I wouldn't side with anyone against Joseph, but I give Leoben permission to kick his ass real good. Leoben schools the guys in fatalism and tells them they "can run and hide but you can't escape what's coming. No one can." Tell it, Leoben!

Disney tries to get a date with Alex Kingston, but she's like "...hehe no." Demetri and Joseph are in Joseph's office, and typically it turns into yet another argument about the visions. Is it just me or do they have this argument every episode, but they just switch sides from week to week? Demetri parrots Leoben and says that neither he nor Joseph can "escape what's coming." (And from the set of Deathly Hallows, Ralph laughs evilly in agreement.) Way to be original, Demetri.

Joseph, Olivia, and Charlie watch cartoons, but of course Charlie can't stay awake. There's something seriously wrong with that kid. Olivia heads to bed and Joseph tears up. Don't be a crybaby, Joseph. I mean, you've seen your competition (on the show I mean, not Ralph). Don't sweat it. UnCreepy Eyebrows alert!

For no special reason we get a shot of Disney eating cereal or something. Okay. Demetri finally tells Zoe that he didn't have a vision. Zoe doesn't appear concerned in the least, since she thinks she saw herself marrying him in hers. Obviously this is a mistake on her part (especially considering they've never shown the man she saw in her vision), so apparently a month and a half after Demetri gets murdered, she marries someone else. That's cold! But it's no less than he deserves really.

God, has that guy followed Aaron around all day? How creepy. As a reward for this stalking, Aaron got him a job. MORE FRAKKING JANE AND BRYCE GEEZ LOUISE.

Disney walks down the halls of the FBI in slow-motion. He leaves an envelope on Demetri's desk addressed "To: Demetri," and was the "To:" really necessary? Demetri grabs it on the way to another pointless meeting with Joseph, Stan, Alex, and some random people. While Joseph waxes poetic about the uncertainties the blue hand group is facing, Disney slow-mos up the steps to the roof while we see that in the future he'll have an accident that kills that woman from the teaser. He's left Demetri a suicide note, but it takes Demetri about an hour to realize it. I know Joseph's speech is riveting and all, but come on, Demetri, get with the program. Sure enough, Disney's up on the ledge of the roof. It's unfortunate that A) he's being chosen as the sacrifice in the name of thinning the huge cast instead of Frakking Jane, Bryce, Janis, or Aaron and B) that he never even got a real name.

Joseph, Demetri, Stan, and Alex rush up to the roof to talk him down. "Al, you don't have to do this," pleads Demetri. Who's Al? Surely he doesn't mean Disney? Disney says he found a "way to change the game," in other words a way to prove that the visions aren't set in stone, which, finally, that happened in the book pretty early on. Disney jumps. I bet Alex feels like shit for not just going on that date with him.

More slow-mo of everyone. Joseph hugs a puzzled looking Olivia. Demetri reads the rest of Disney's note. Alex puts tape(?) on windows. Aaron stares into space. Bryce is stupid. Frakking Jane is a bitch. LLOYD SIMCOE tries to relate to his idiot offspring. Dominic (WTF?!) stares at a bracelet with the name "Annabelle" on it. Demetri and Zoe are lovey dovey. The woman Disney didn't kill plays with her kids. Aaron arrives at home to find...wait for it...not Leoben. His daughter, who looks crazy familiar to me. Why no bonus shot of Joseph this time?! And what a waste of Leoben, really.

Mostly things I hate

Why do I watch things (or rather, keep things on in the background while I'm online or doing math) that I know will annoy me and make me testy? I know the idiots on Property Virgins are going to piss me off. I hate it so bad when they list all the stupid things they want in a house, tell Sandra their budget, and she takes them to a house with everything they want that's under or right on budget, and they're like "....Well, the foyer is a little tight." or "I don't like the wallpaper." !!!!!!! WTF! Or Sandra will show them three or four perfectly lovely houses/condos/whatever within their budget and they'll be like, "We're overwhelmed, let's just wait, therefore rendering our appearance on this show completely pointless, except oh yeah we got on TV." Argh! I watch bits of Chelsea Lately sometimes (earlier she said the Frakking Twilight girl should "shut her face," HA, like, AWESOME), and usually stupid E! News comes on right after and I end up listening to some of it and just getting so irritated. It's so dumb. All they ever talk about are the people that are only famous because they have reality shows on E!, Jon and Kate, and the Twilight morons. And ugh, Taylor Swift too. I hate her music/voice/bullshit, but most of all I hate her for being on the cover of Rolling Stone when they gave No Line on the Horizon a five-star review and I hate to keep it of course and that stupid bitch is on the cover. WHY WAS SHE ON THE COVER?! And why can't Ryan Seacrest just say "pounds" like everyone else?! Why does he insist on saying "l-bs"?!

I tried to click through EW's "50 Actors We'd Watch in Anything" list, but Jude Law was the third one so I just quit. There's no one who would watch Jude Law in just anything, and if there is I don't want to know them. At various times I've listed several people I'd watch in anything, but then Michael Sheen decided to be in Frakking Twilight and I realized no one's safe. There's a couple of people I would (and have!) put up with a lot of stupidity for, but everyone has their limits. The only two people I will watch in any (non-Twilight) movie/TV show are Joseph and Ralph, and that's only because I kind of have to. I've put up with a lot of stupidity from them, that's for sure. And don't even think, Michael Sheen, that just because I'm boycotting Frakking Twilight means that I haven't suffered enough thanks to your career. I've seen Underworld: Rise of the Lycans TWICE!

And just to prove being anti-Twilight doesn't make one anti-vampire altogether, I just want to point out that The Vampire Diaries continues to grow in appeal. There's still a lot of nonsense, but I still like it better than FlashForward (Sorry Joseph.), current eps of The Office, and Survivor. Hee! I switched from dumbass E! to a re-run of Without a Trace on TNT and Romo Lampkin/Badger is on it! (A, I just googled him and he was on an ep of Supernatural this year, HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME?) There are two guys that work at Starbucks that I call Romo Lampkin and Lee Adama, because the former looks a lot like Mark Sheppard, and the latter kind of sort of could pass for Jamie Bamber on a foggy day. I insist on calling them "Romo Lampkin and Lee Adama" too, not "Romo and Lee". Not really sure why. I hope they're not reading this (although how they would know I'm talking about them is an excellent question.)

Speaking of Without a Trace, a couple weeks ago (possibly while waiting on U2, which provided a huge abundance of time and goofy conversation), Megan & I were talking about people who just "look nice," as in, not just when they're smiling or whatever but just look like nice people. I suggested Eric Close, from this show (at least that's the only place I know him from), and Juliette Binoche. Now that I think some more, Jamie Bamber comes to mind, but I think that's only because I was already thinking of him in conjunction with faux Lee Adama, and he and Eric Close are kind of similar looking. I also thought of Will Smith, James Marsden, and Trudy from Mad Men before.

EDIT: Jacob is on this ep of Without a Trace too! My goodness!

Scattered Mad Men thoughts

Well, I totally, totally fell for last week's promo, with Frakking Jane saying "Everything you do is for HER!" Of course I thought she meant Joan, because I wanted her to mean Joan, because I am all about, and have always been all about, Roan. But still, we got some Roan movement here and a little Roan is better than none! (Do you want me to say Roan some more?) I like to think of myself as cynical, but last week when Roger told Random Business Associate re: Joan that she's "very important to me," I instantly turned into a pool of mush and warm fuzzies. So if Matthew Weiner ruins this for me, I WILL BE SO MAD. (I have no threats to make; obviously I won't quit his hyper-addictive show with its phenomenal writing and ludicrously talented and pretty actors.)

Speaking of me being angry, I am so sick of Henry Francis. Every time I think we're done with him he pops back up again. And his marriage proposal?!! I really, really get Betty's feelings about Don--that's to say, I understand where she's coming from; obviously I don't relate because I adore Don as much as ever. But I also love Betty/Don and their dynamic and would be so upset if they split for good. It's so weird how their roles were reversed in this episode, with Betty lying about where she was going and sneaking around and Don at home with the kids, being the dutiful spouse, for the moment at least. I love these two, they have to work it out! (And seriously, who's prettier than Don/Jon and Betty/January? There's no where, lookswise, for either of them to go but down!)

Frakking Jane and Margaret were in serious competition for who I would end up hating more in this ep. Of course, Frakking Jane always wins. I bet Mona was a lot like Joan when she and Roger met. She's very no-nonsense, the exact opposite of her horrible daughter and Frakking Jane. I like her. I didn't want to when I first started watching the show because Talia Balsam's character on Without a Trace was so annoying, but after realizing she's married to John Slattery in real life I did want to like her, and then I didn't really have to work at it because Mona's kind of cool.

Puck! Puck! Puck! I'm sorry, I love those two together. Is that so strange? If you had warned me of this pairing before the season started, I would've revolted, but I am enamored of them now.

I'm trying to work up the enthusiasm to write something about Pete and his work drama, but...I can't. I like Pete most of the time and all, but there's way too many other things going on for me to get super excited about anything to do with him.

And last but not least, major kudos for not dealing with the assassination in an expected way. I never thought they'd have it happen in any ep but the finale, so that was cool and unexpected. It could've been trite and predictable, but I loved the different reactions and the realism of them.

More of more of more of........it's FlashForward, okay?

I came *thisclose* to taping The Vampire Diaries tonight instead of FlashForward, and then watching FlashForward online later. At least with Vampire Diaries I would be guaranteed campy delight, while with FlashForward I’m guaranteed… Joseph. And if FF succeeds in becoming the Lost it so desperately wants to be, then I won’t even be necessarily guaranteed that in the future.

But here we go. The Great Erwin Blackout is over, I’m sick to death of editing my process essay (888 words and…not counting, we hope), and I’m entirely too lazy to do laundry like I should.

Previously on FlashForward: a bunch of nonsense. Oh, yeah, Janis (I was informed that I had been spelling her name wrong) got shot! That was pretty excellent. Every damn body was horrible to Joseph, which sucked.

Dominic! He exists! Who knew? Oh, my God, I don’t think I can stand to watch Charlie Pace be a “player”. It’s making me physically uncomfortable. Are we really supposed to believe that “I know what caused the FlashForward” is a new pick-up line? I might use that. “I know what causes FlashForward”. What, you ask? “Joseph Fiennes!” This bit about the cat was actually in the book, although there LLOYD SIMCOE said it.

It looks like Olivia is gonna save Janis. Damn it, Olivia! I really was starting to dig you, too! Why does Joseph sound so painfully earnest on his VOICEMAIL MESSAGE? Mine’s like “Heeeheehehee it’s Jessica heehee harhar leave a message!” I know he’s a Fiennes brother, but come on, did he and Ralph really have an earnest-off when they signed up for Verizon’s family plan?

Anyway, Olivia can’t get a hold of him. Damn it, Joseph, what do you expect to drive your wife into the arms of LLOYD SIMCOE? Hint: it’s not being available when she tries to call you.

Speak of the devil, there’s LLOYD SIMCOE and his stupid kid. They’re doing a Daniel Faraday Lost exercise from last season with cards. The kid is super annoying, and oh, goody, here’s Bryce. Blah! All my least favorite characters (except for Frakking Jane) in the same hospital. And just to compound that fact, here’s Stan.

Joseph creeps up on Olivia, who’s asleep at the hospital, and wakes her up just to get her to tell Stan, Demetri, and random guy that Janis is going to live. DAMN IT! Demetri gets all dramatic and tells Stan he’s either staying at the hospital or going after who did this, which, what? When did Demetri get all obsessed with Janis?

Creepy Eyebrows alert! Joseph tells Olivia what happened, after she badgers him a bit. Olivia says, for the zillionth time, that the visions are irrelevant to their lives right now and they need to just forget about them, and Joseph, also for the zillionth time, agrees. I like these two a lot together, but seriously, they need something new to do.

Random guy tells Demetri he’s “acting kind of weird.” Man, random guy is sharp! Although they are in a morgue. How are you supposed to act in one?

Wonderful, it’s LLOYD SIMCOE, Bryce, and the kid. (Fine, Dylan.) And LLOYD SIMCOE amps up the hate factor when he asks Bryce to see that Olivia come by Dylan’s room later so they can “say their goodbyes.” DUN DUN DUN.

Stan seems to be apologizing for being such an ass to Joseph, and Joseph, because he is a saint, accepts and gives Stan money for coffee.

Gaaaaaaaaaaah. Janis is already awake and rambling.

Demetri’s obsessed with some guy’s blue hand stamp. This whole thing is so boring. If we’re going to have to spend time with Demetri, where is Zoe? I’m mildly interested in what she saw and why, but no, let’s watch this inevitable dead end.

Joseph helps Charlie with her costume. What is she? And why is Aaron there? Ha! Aaron just asked Joseph where his costume is (how hilarious would it be if he were Shakespeare?!), and Joseph snits that he’s “been a little busy lately!” Even Joseph’s saintliness is tried by Aaron. Not Frakking Jane, shoot! She’s dressed as a whore. Oh, wait, she just is one.

Charlie and Frakking Jane somehow force Joseph to wear an eye patch and fake teeth, which, I have to say, is kind of disturbing. Why, with Aaron as Obi-Wan, is he not Anakin? I mean, Aaron is his sponsor. There goes the kangaroo!

LLOYD SIMCOE, proving once again he’s the worst person in the world, has lost Dylan, and describes him to the security guard as being “about this big.” Way to pay attention, LLOYD SIMCOE!

Olivia is going to have to do more surgery on Janis. Maybe this time she’ll die!

LLOYD SIMCOE still hasn’t found Dylan, like, way to go, nuclear physicist. Dylan’s on a bus going somewhere, and inexplicably he’s wearing a ridiculously huge necklace with a huge gold chain. Oh, yeah, it’s Halloween, I guess that’s why? After the bus takes him to Joseph and Olivia’s house, he gets some candy from Frakking Jane and walks right in, saying it’s “his house too.” Even Frakking Jane is like, “…wha?”

In what world do adults get dressed up to take their kids trick-or-treating? That…doesn’t happen. Joseph sees some guys that remind him of the masked men who tried to kill him in his vision, and honestly, he must have been drunk because now it looks like they had light sabers instead of guns. A dramatic flourish plays into the commercial. DUN.

Joseph yells at the guys and chases them, of course. You just know this is going to end up being a bunch of teenagers on their way to egg his house or something. But run Joseph run! Hell, he’s got his gun out! That seems extreme. And now he’s chasing them in a graveyard, which seems like a bit of overkill. HA! I was right, only the teenager says it wasn’t eggs but toilet paper. Joseph has apparently never watched a movie before, or he would’ve known it was just a bunch of punk kids.

Frakking Jane called Joseph to tell him about Dylan. Okay, what is she supposed to be? A drowning victim? Dylan doesn’t even know the title of his favorite Harry Potter! Dumbass. Joseph awesomely tells the little brat that it’s not his house, it’s Joseph’s, damn it! LLOYD SIMCOE shows up at the door, and WHAT? How did he know?!

LLOYD SIMCOE looks around and recognizes the house from his vision, and asks Joseph if he’s “related” to Olivia, and Joseph’s all, “I’M HER HUSBAND, ANY MORE QUESTIONS?” LLOYD SIMCOE babbles a bit, and then Olivia walks in. DRAMAZ. Stare downs all around! Joseph’s is the best, of course. He is a Fiennes, so it’s not even fair to the other two.

Man, does Joseph look pissed! Think of how he’d look if Ralph were around! LLOYD SIMCOE is an IDIOT, so he says “You’re her” to Olivia. MY GOD HE IS STUPID! “Not yet!” Joseph snaps. Oh, hell no, you don’t mess with a Fiennes! Aaron drags Charlie and Frakking Jane off, thankfully. Let’s let the grown-ups talk. (And Dylan, because Aaron didn’t bother to take him.)

Olivia stupidly asks what’s going on, and Joseph says “I thought you might know.” Wow, somebody ate his Wheaties today. Joseph tells her Dylan keeps saying it’s his house, and when Olivia starts to explain the kid’s autistic, Joseph says “I don’t need a diagnosis.” Ha! This is awesome. LLOYD SIMCOE, who seriously needs to get a clue, says he understands why he made Olivia so uncomfortable before, and fine, but he needs to figure out why he makes everyone else so uncomfortable now.

LLOYD SIMCOE: “Clearly, this is an unusual situation.”

JOSEPH: “No kidding.”

OLIVIA: “[Joseph], don’t be like that.”

ME: “Yes, Joseph, be like that forever!”

OH!!! Joseph just laid down the law for LLOYD SIMCOE. “You leave… you don’t come back.” Tell it, Joseph! And guess what, LLOYD SIMCOE runs away crying like a baby. Well, he doesn’t cry, but he runs away.

A bunch of stuff has happened with Demetri and random guy, but I don’t care so I’ve been ignoring it and will continue to do so. Why is Stan still at the hospital with Janis? Why doesn’t he go home to Gina Torres? Why didn’t Janis just die to thin the cast out?

A LOST PREVIEW!!!!!!! Now, that’s how you be awesome, FlashForward!

Joseph is fidgeting around the kitchen, and snits that he can see why Olivia likes LLOYD SIMCOE, because he’s a “charming guy.” Hee. Joseph is pissed because Olivia didn’t tell him she was Dylan’s doctor again, and it would so much easier to be on his side here if he wasn’t hiding the most important part of his vision. I still am, mind you. Joseph gets angry and yells! Olivia asks if he’s hiding anything from her, and Joseph tells her, finally. Joseph does a really good job with this scene, btw. Sonya Walger too.

BACK TO LLOYD SIMCOE MY GOODNESS. He’s the Janis of this week, I guess.

Joseph sits in the kitchen and looks pensive and frustrated. Olivia sits on the stairs and looks pensive and sad. Don’t they have a couch? I’ve seen it. Charlie is asleep of course, because that’s pretty much all she does. We get a bonus shot of Joseph after all the other idiots, because he’s the star.

LLOYD SIMCOE gets in his car, where Dominic was hiding in wait. I hope Dominic tells LLOYD SIMCOE to leave and not come back, too. But no, they just marvel some more at what evil geniuses they are. Is it just me or do we end every episode on this, never to actually find out what they did to deserve to be known as evil geniuses? All evil genius talk and no evil genius walk!